Badd Ass Convention '99?

-Edgar Figaro

Today marks a day of warmth in all our hearts as the 3rd annual "Badd Ass" reunion was held. Badd Ass's in attendance were:

Kefka
Golbez
Vargas(FF6)
Thanatos (AKA DarkLich)
Zemorus
Sephiroth
Emperor Geshtal
Emperor Vandole
Emperor Barbarosa
Magus (Supreme Badd Ass!)
Fanna
Sheex
And me! (I got invited, but I had to Work [NOMAD!])

So instead of rubbing elbows with the world's biggest bad boys, I had to interview them. But, before I could even start, I noticed cliques forming in the room. I watched, amazed, as the Emperors all talked about their grand schemes for world domination. I smelt the delusional thoughts from the other side.

 In the middle of the room was Zemorus, Thanatos, and Lavos screaming from underground. All was fine and dandy till Zemorus and Thanatos started shoving each other, claiming to be the "ultimate evil". Amazingly enough, Golbez was in the corner, fetal, rocking back and forth saying "I don't belong here, I don't belong here...." It was brought to my attention that invitations were drawn up BEFORE Golbez turned soft. 

At that time, I watched as Kefka walked over and became poking Golbez, making Golbez scream like a little child. On the other side of the room was Vargas, Fanna, and Sheex. They were all flexing their muscles till Magus stepped in and turned them all to frogs. And of course, I HAD to have Magus' autograph, he's SUCH a bad ass! Afterward, Magus left, and Kefka and Sephiroth went off twitching and claiming all mighty power. I soon left. As I left, I said goodbye to another year of Badd Ass's gathering to talk and mingle. Then I had to drive Golbez home.