The Bit Wars

-Edgar Figaro

In recent news, it appears that the new trend in the gaming industry is downsizing. First to announce a downsize was Nintendo, followed quickly by Sega. Of course, Sega followed the leader, then downsized first. Questions needed answering, and I'm the guy to kick some ass. As I delved deeper, several reporters, along with myself, asked exactly WHAT was being downsized. Firing employees? Less systems? Less games? NOPE!

"This industry has gotten too big, and I see the future, 8 bit gaming people! It's simple and clean! Best of all, it's cheap!" remarked the Nintendo representative at a recent conference. When asked if this system will mirror the NES, the Rep was quoted saying "MUCH like it! Only it'll have a pretty box and cool controllers!" Unfortunately, the NES games will not be compatible with the new system, being called the N8, but soon after Nintendo officials were laughed at for reasons not yet apparent at this time. In a quick retort, Nintendo changed the system's name to the Ultra Prestige Yukon Orion Uni-Realty Service, or as Nintendo touted, U.P. Y.O.U.R.S.

In order to compete with Nintendo, Sega has already released their new system. In order to out-do Nintendo, Sega released a 6 bit system. "Our goal, as a company, is to show the US that Sega is bigger and better than Nintendo. If Nintendo downsizes, we can do it bigger and faster!" 

In a surprise conference, Sony announced that they will not follow Nintendo OR Sega (DUH). In another course of action, they revealed the power of the PSX2, showing massive power of 132bit power. When asked what they thought of Nintendo and Sega, the Representative simply laughed maniacally and rubbed his hands together.