Cecil Runs Amuck

-Edgar Figaro

Just after 2 o'clock today...well, more like 2:13...well...my shadow was facing northeast if that means anything, my cupcake was melting, I hate that, because then the chocolate sticks to your fingers and the frosting sticks to the plastic wrapping and you have to scrape it off with your teeth and it just isn't the same, ya know? Ug, that's why I like twinkies, but I didn't have any. 

Where was I going with this? RIGHT, around 2 o'clock today, famed hero of Final Fantasy 4, Cecil What's His Face, was tracked down after reports that he ran nude down a busy highway during a traffic jam. Onlookers were stunned by the ease in which he "floated" down the highway, said the driver of a semi.

"Hey, he must've gotten to the off ramp WAY before I did. If I had thought of running down the highway naked, I bet I wouldn't have been late for dinner."

Police officers who took down the report from several denizens, whom now being rather upset and disturbed, could only shake their heads and hand out "D.A.R.E." bumper stickers. I think the one on the left was coming on to me....ewww.

"I don't trust them, such shady folk" commented an elderly lady, "if I were Batman, I could just whip out my nudist repellent!"