Ryu vs. Ryu

-Edgar Figaro

Ryu Vs. Ryu??

Ryu, of the popular Capcom game series, Street Fighter, is filing a lawsuit against Capcom's Breath of Fire 3 hero, Ryu. Accusing Ryu of infringing on copyrights, Ryu explained, "The name is mine! Get it? Ryu, karate expert! Not Ryu, the pussy ass kid!" In response, Ryu shouted, "I am what I eat!!" Thus, Ryu simply stared at Ryu, with a blank look (you still with me here?).

Later, the court room was filled Capcom officials, all claiming outrageous updates and secretly passing notes, of which the judge found one and read it to the rest of the court room.

"hey, Bobby, do you think Kelly likes me? Yeah, she's Capcom slime, but DAMN!"

Later, the court heard both sides of the story, of which more mud slinging was made.

"Look at him, your honor! He's just some punk kid who is SCARED to swing a sword! Isn't it TRUE!?"

Afterward, the judge came back in. 

"It is the courts decision to side with Ryu and Capcom. Under law 13.b., any character of pussy stature will hereby give up claim to a baddass name."

There you have it, you heard it here first.

"I think the courts are full of shit! Pussy Stature?! I'm not a pussy! I'll kill them all!....please don't tell them I said that, OKAY?"